Saturday, September 20, 2008

Stir Crazy

My two fig trees sitting on the fire escape...
keeping me sane.

I'm going through withdrawals right now.
All I can think about is my garden.

I realized that I became addicted to growing plants.
I left so much unfinished business there too.
I still need to finish the dome greenhouse.

I still need to chop up fallen leaves and spread
them over the garden along with rock dust.

Waking up to the sun, and the sounds of the birds.
Walking to the garden, and starting an honest day's work.

I feel trapped. Even if I lived in the suburbs I could
do a sq. foot garden and plant some trees.
Here, I can sprout, and I've got those little fig trees.
But the sounds of the sirens, the noise of the cars...
its just really getting old at this point.
I've seen whats possible, and this is not for me anymore.

I go online and buy trees, and for a while it makes me
feel better. I'm like a standard American on the day
after Thanksgiving...running for the good deals.

Yesterday, I bought two avocado trees, a mango tree,
a passion fruit vine, and two more persimmon trees.
I can't seem to get enough.
Like an addicted gambler pulling the lever one more time.
At least my money is wisely spent.

I talked to my dad today and he told me
that the garden is looking great.
The bees are doing well, despite
the occasional hornet trying to get in.

I want to be there again.
I want to give this all up and just garden.
I want a reconnection with what I had.

My plan is to stay in NY until Jan 1st.
After until spring returns.

There is a great permaculture scene in Hawaii.
Id love to visit the Tree of Life in Patagonia, AZ.
I have friends in Monterrey, Mexico and would
love to head down to the Carribean and live off of
coconuts for a while. At least there are options.

All you youngsters out there still in school...
You choose your reality...if you want to get locked in,
find yourself a good paying job that is too hard to leave.

Modeling has locked me in for so long.
I stuck with it because it took so little time,
but I feel that its time to move on.
I am thankful for everything that has happened,
but going to Sedona last week was a wake-up call.

Its all a choice. Stay or leave. Fester or Thrive.
We all know when the time is right,
but few actually take the steps toward liberation.